EP #7 The Reluctant Ninja: A Journey to Empowerment Cheryl Ilov

Deluxe Narrator

00:14

This podcast is part of the deluxe edition network, To find other great shows on the network, head over to deluxe edition network dot com. That's deluxe edition network dot com.

David McClam

00:50

Chronic pain. It is something that hundreds of thousands of people suffer with every day. But what happens when you're told just to get your walker ready, but Judy side to find your inner spirit to come out of that, you become a warrior. Join me as I talk to extraordinary person Sheryl I Love on this episode of True Crime in all thirds.

Your Imaging Guy

01:07

Welcome to True Crime and Author's Podcast, where we bring 2 passions together, the show that gives new meaning to the old adage. Truth is stranger than fiction. Here's your host, David McClam.

David McClam

01:27

What's going on everybody? Welcome to another episode of True Crimes authors, extraordinary people edition. Of course, I am your man David McClam. Hey, if you guys haven't already, make sure you're following us on all of our social medias. 1 link to a link for you would get you every link you need to the show in the show notes.

David McClam

02:00

Alright. So I have a very fabulous guest for you today. Let me tell you who we are talking to. She is an author speaker, physical therapist, martial artist dancer, and former chronic pain patient. She published the award winning and best selling book forever fit and flexible, filling fabulous at 50 and beyond in 20 16, And with over 20 years experience as a physical therapist in private practice, she has helped hundreds of clients recover from pain and injuries, by integrating the science of physical therapy with the art of movement.

David McClam

02:42

She believes that everyone can enjoy a vibrant health and fatality at every stage of life. She is also a second degree black belt in an ancient Japanese martial art called Nipo Taijuksu. From her own experience of beginning her training at the tender young age of 47 and becoming her teacher's first female black belt 10 years later, She discovered that there is an incredible amount of strength and power in each and every 1 of us just waiting to be unleashed. She recently published her second book The Reluctant Ninja How a middle aged princess became a warrior queen. And it has earned an award through the reader's favorite book awards and is receiving rave reviews.

David McClam

02:56

She is the author of forever fit and flexible film fabulous at 50. And beyond in the hosts of the Fimininja project, please welcome Cheryl I Love. Cheryl, thank you for coming on today.

Cheryl ILov

02:59

Thank you so much for inviting me. It's an honor to be here.

David McClam

03:12

So we have met before. I am actually coming up on our episode of your podcast. So it is and honored a pleasure to see you again. I know you said you started training martial arts at the tender age of 47. You don't look past 25.

Cheryl ILov

03:14

This is another reason why we get along.

David McClam

03:22

So wanna do tell us a little bit about you that we did not hear here. Would you like everybody else to know about your I love?

Cheryl ILov

03:39

Oh my goodness. Okay. Let's just start Let's go way back. I was actually born and raised in a small steel town in Western Pennsylvania, which is why I live in Denver now. So I moved to Denver just a few days after I graduated college.

Cheryl ILov

04:06

So the ink was actually still wet on the diploma. And my college roommate and I just packed up my 19 74 Ford Maverick and drove across the country to Denver just because we wanted a change of scenery. I was tired of Western Pennsylvania. She was originally from Cleveland, and she was really tired of that. So we just came out here to seek our fame and fortune or at least just to do some fantastic skiing.

Cheryl ILov

04:33

So I got a job right away, of course, as a respiratory therapist, That's what my education was in then, and that was my first career. And then eventually after 17 years, I went back to school and got my master's degree in physical therapy. Along the way, there are some snafus and some really difficulties in my life. I did end up as you said being a chronic pain patient when I was in my mid thirties. And I lived that life for 2 and a half years.

Cheryl ILov

04:47

I was a quote unquote good patient. I did everything that the doctors told me to do. The physical therapists told me to do. I took all the medications. But instead of getting better, I kept getting worse.

Cheryl ILov

05:19

I just kept spiraling down until I got to the point where after 2 and a half years of living like that, 1 of my physicians told me that I would never have the life I had before. I would never be able to do my laundry in my grocery dropping all on the same day because the arthritis in my spine was so severe I'd end up being bedridden. And then she told me to start applying for ability because I was going to need it. I was 36 years old. And I just looked at her and I says, you don't understand.

Cheryl ILov

05:32

I'm planning on going back to ballet class. And she laughed in my face and she says, no, you don't understand. You are a chronic pain patient. You will always be a chronic pain patient. But don't you worry, we're gonna take care of you.

Cheryl ILov

05:55

And I went home and I hit rock bottom, and it took me a few days, but a few days later, it was like, wait a minute. This is on you, not on them. They're making you worse. You need to figure out what's going on and you need to fix it yourself. And it just launched me on this incredible journey of self exploration, education, and healing.

Cheryl ILov

06:34

And I just fired my entire medical team, stopped taking the medications, stopped doing the stupid exercises and stretches at the p gave me and I can say that because I am APT. And I just taught myself how to move again without pain. And I just had to, like, dissect all of the movement patterns that I already understood like from Pilates and ballet, and I would just do simple tiny little movements and notice when it was exacerbating my pain and when it relieved my pain. And the only thing I added to that regime was acupuncture for the first time, I tried acupuncture. I thought this was I was so desperate.

Cheryl ILov

06:50

I even tried acupuncture because as a Western medicine trained person, you don't do stuff like that. But now, I'm a total believer and, you know, it it took about 8 months, but I actually, you know, cured myself of the chronic pain and look at me now.

David McClam

07:06

So being that you worked in the field, what kind of things did you see as a physical therapist? Is it 1 of those things where because of big farmer maybe and the doctors are making money off of that, do it rather keep you on drugs than to try to ease your pain?

Cheryl ILov

07:23

Now, you know, the new me the 1 that you're talking to right now says, yeah. I'm pretty sure that was a big part of it. Back then, I would have said that can't be possible. Until I lived it. And I realized even 1 time, they had me on anti inflammatories.

Cheryl ILov

07:41

Anti inflammatories just came onto the scene. This was 30 years ago. So I am older than 25. You know, I went to the pharmacy to get my refill of my anti inflammatories. And when she handed me the pills and told me how much it was, the cost had doubled in the past month.

Cheryl ILov

07:59

And I just looked at her and I said, I can't afford this. And she says, well, you know, I'm sorry, but the price has really increased. Now this was 30 years ago like I said. And I mean, tears filled my eye and I just said, I'm sorry. And I put it back on the counter and I just this was at the grocery store and I kept on doing my shopping.

Cheryl ILov

08:19

And about 20 minutes later, I heard my name being paged. You know, will customer Cheryl I Love please return to the pharmacy? I'm like, Okay. What do you want? So I went back to the pharmacy and she said, we looked around and we were able to find a better price for you.

Cheryl ILov

08:29

So now, it's gonna be what you paid before. And that made me start scratching my head going, wait a minute. What happened between the time? I said, no. I I am not gonna pay for this.

Cheryl ILov

08:45

I'm not I don't want it I'll I'll manage without it. And then 20 minutes later, how did the price go back down to what I was paying before? So I think there is an awful lot of Let's get you on these medications. You need these medications. You need us.

Cheryl ILov

09:10

We are going to take care of you. And that's really dangerous. Because when that happens, you are actually handing over your autonomy your personal power to another person who might not have your best interests at heart. They may say they do. And maybe they do but they're really limited by what their education and what their scope of practice is.

David McClam

09:39

I know my wife suffers from chronic pain And I've been in a battle with her because the doctor that she currently has, I don't like. Now I'm all I'm all for holistic medicine and that that is fine. But if your patient is telling you that that does not work, then you should do something else. She got into a car wreck 20 plus years ago And it's but she has she suffered some migraines continuously in her knee. And I told her myself, I said, maybe you should look for another doctor.

David McClam

09:55

Someone that's gonna listen to you. She did have 1 of those at 1 point and then that doctor ended up moving. I said, or maybe you should look for other ways of trying to get rid of the pain. I'm 1 of those people that I just I can't listen and hold me down. I work through pain all the time.

David McClam

10:09

I too have arthritis. But the jobs that I do where I'm always constantly moving does help. And I know my wife at this point, you know, she says, the medicine helps sometimes. But not all. And I says well, maybe your body's so used to it now, they're not giving you what you need.

David McClam

10:12

You need to look for something else, which is why I'm glad that I found you.

Cheryl ILov

10:17

Well, thank you.

David McClam

10:21

So do you know what was causing your chronic pain?

Cheryl ILov

10:38

Well, it's really interesting because, of course, they were telling me it's arthritis and, you know, the of of, you know, you're gonna be bedridden, all this kind of stuff. And when I finally said, I am done. I'm not listening. I am not accepting the label that you're putting on me. So that's when I ended up going to an acupuncturist.

Cheryl ILov

10:55

And who also happened to be a chiropractor, but I just went for the acupuncture because again, Western medicine. Oh, chiropractor and old. That's bad. So he did treat me with acupuncture a few times. And, you know, I was getting so much better already.

Cheryl ILov

11:16

And then when he was checking my spine, he said, you know, you have a lock here. And he explained it to me. It was what you call a facet joint. So you have your spine with all the, you know, vertebra lined up. And there's little protrusions coming out of each 1 that articulates with the vertebra on top and below it.

Cheryl ILov

11:47

And there's a little space between there, where nerve endings come out, and those nerve endings go to all different parts of your body. Well, I had what's called a facet lock where the joint on 1 side was compressed and stuck, so it was putting pressure on my sciatic nerve. So once, you know, he did that exam on my spine, he says, well, let just do an adjustment or 2, and I'm thinking, we don't know about this. So, of course, he did, and we continued the acupuncture. I continued my own self exploration.

Cheryl ILov

12:08

With movement. And it was almost like either a miracle or magic, how how well that worked together. And in just a few months, I was tentatively going back to ballet class. Now my friends hadn't seen me in over 2 and a half years. And they were just like feeling so sorry for me, and I told my ballet teacher, you ignore me.

Cheryl ILov

12:25

I'm gonna stand at the end of the bar, I'm gonna just do what I think I can and just no corrections, just leave me alone. And, of course, everybody was afraid that, you know, I was gonna break, so she was fine with that. So after about 20 minutes, I was like, you know what? I'm good. I'm gonna leave.

Cheryl ILov

12:41

Valley class is usually an hour and a half. So I just, you know, bowed out and I left the class, and you could see all of the women looking at me and the guys is with pity. Like, oh, how she's so broken. She's so injured. But what they didn't understand is that I was victorious.

Cheryl ILov

13:01

I was able to do 20 minutes of incredibly very gentle belly movements, in a class with the music, with my friends, and to me it was just life altering. It was like I had finally come out of that chronic pain syndrome and I could move forward from there.

David McClam

13:20

So now to all my chronic pain listeners out there or pain people that's listening, listen to this. So now you went through all of this. You've been told basically your shambles of a person just pretty much get your wheelchair and your walker ready. And now you brought yourself out of that you started doing acupuncture. Things are getting better.

David McClam

13:29

And at 47, you now decide to take up martial arts Tell us about that. How did you come that decision to wanna take up martial arts?

Cheryl ILov

13:44

Well, I really didn't decide that I wanted to take martial arts. And that is explains the title of the book, the reluctant ninja. Because it took my sensei. He was actually my acupuncturist. Before he became my teacher.

Cheryl ILov

14:00

And it's a very long story. But when I was 44, somebody suggested him it's like, hey. You might wanna try this acupuncturist he's really good. You know, my other 1 had since closed his practice blah blah blah. So it was 1 of my clients who recommended this I thought, okay.

Cheryl ILov

14:17

She's pretty picky. She's not gonna send me to just anybody. So I went to this guy and he had his clinic It was like kind of like a duplex who had his clinic and eggs right next to it was his martial arts dojo, and I'm like, I didn't pay any attention to that. I was just there for acupuncture. Right?

Cheryl ILov

14:35

So when I walked into his office and he seemed nice enough. And then when he got me on the table, He started putting needles in my legs. And when he did that, he got a faraway look on his face. And he said, you know? With your legs, and my coaching.

Cheryl ILov

14:48

I could teach you how to kill with these things. This is when this is when the men that hear this, this is they usually say, come online or, you know, yeah. But it wasn't.

David McClam

15:06

So I can tell you, I think we've had this discussion too and I was on your podcast that we'll be airing pretty soon. I'm also a first yogi light belt in taekwondo. I studied up underneath a long time Junery. If you guys have looked him up Junery is known as the Godfather Taekwondo. He's trained many people like Chuck Norris.

David McClam

15:20

He's also the man taught Bruce Lee the 1 inch punch. At 60, he was doing a thousand push ups in a minute. I wouldn't mess with him. But it brings a lot of healing to you martial arts is more than just about the fighting. Yes, you can use it to take the definitely take somebody out.

David McClam

15:35

But the healing it brings the centeredness of one's body just a discipline over itself is the main reason I got into that. How do you feel like once you started taking Marshal arts, how do you feel like that started to help you with your chronic pain and bring you out of that?

Cheryl ILov

15:49

Well, that had absolutely nothing to do with my chronic pain. My chronic pain was completely healed by then. You know, I I cured myself of the pain of without my acupuncturist, the other 1. And then I eventually became a physical therapist. I got accepted to PT school.

Cheryl ILov

16:00

That was 1 of my goals. And, you know, life was good. I had started my own private practice. And, actually, I was it was September. Of 2000.

Cheryl ILov

16:14

I was 44. I actually had a trauma. After that trauma happened, when it did, you know, I tried to get help. I tried to port it, but nobody would listen to me. Even my best friend told me no no no.

Cheryl ILov

16:32

That can't possibly happen. I was basically assaulted in a physician's office. And of course, you know, as a medical person, I'm I'm very medical savvy. I mean, I know the system. And to think that that would happen to me, What was happening to other people, other women who didn't have the kind of background that I did?

Cheryl ILov

16:57

So being a action driven person, I was going to okay. I'm still, you know, reeling from the shock and the pain because there was a lot of physical pain involved with that. So I wanted to report him, make sure that, you know, nobody else was ever gonna end up in his office without knowing that he was a predator. And then get help for myself. So I didn't have this burden and then move on with my life.

Cheryl ILov

17:20

But that didn't happen that way. And now I understand why women do not report assault, and and you understand this. I mean, we've had this conversation when you were on my show. So what I did was I just said, okay. I I just stuffed it down inside of me, pasted a big old smile on my face and pretended that everything was was fine, which, obviously, it wasn't.

Cheryl ILov

17:49

And it was just a few months after that when I met Mark, my acupuncturist slash now sensei. And, you know, I, of course, didn't mention it to him, but he started treating me, you know, with acupuncture and just, you know, for other various ailments. And he would always keep talking about the art of the ninja, which was his Nimpo Tajitsu. It was his school right next to the clinic, and he kept Badgering me, you gotta take classes with me. You'd be so good at it.

Cheryl ILov

18:03

You would love it. As a dancer, you'd be so good. I'm like, that is never gonna happen. I am never gonna take a a martial arts class, but thanks for asking. Well, about a year after I met him, I was triggered again badly.

Cheryl ILov

18:22

Our PTSD just came spewing out of me. And spiraling down. I mean, it it was like going really falling down a rabbit hole. I intuitively knew that the only person I could talk to would be my acupuncturist Mark. Nobody else had, you know, gave me the time of day.

Cheryl ILov

18:32

Even my own husband, he says, oh, this is girl stuff. You go tell, you know, talk to Kathleen, your girlfriends. You know? But again, no 1 would listen. So I went to Mark and I told him what happened.

Cheryl ILov

18:44

So he started treating me for the symptoms of PTSD. But then his campaign to get me on the mat went into high gear. And I kept saying no. Nope. Not gonna happen.

Cheryl ILov

19:01

I did not understand how hanging out in a smelly dojo with a bunch of sweaty men. Was going to help me heal and make me feel better and get my power back. And he just kept saying, just try it. Just try it. It took another 2 years.

Cheryl ILov

19:18

And finally he wore me down. It's like, I have nothing nothing left to fight you with. And I said, okay. I will try a few classes just to prove to you how much I'm gonna hate it and then I'll quit. But I didn't hate it.

Cheryl ILov

19:28

I fell in love with the art eventually. I fell in love with the training and I really fell in love with the sense of empowerment that I got from that training.

David McClam

19:40

So because of that, after all your reluctantness, he finally gets you on the mat. In 10 years later, you become his first female black belt student. How did that make you feel?

Cheryl ILov

19:54

Wow. I guess that's how it made me feel. When I started training, of course, you know, I wasn't in it for the long run. I never had my eye on getting a black belt. I didn't want a black belt.

Cheryl ILov

20:13

I didn't want a yellow belt. I didn't even want the white belt, but it came with the uniform so I had to take it. But once I got involved in the dojo, about 3 months after I started, 1 of the guys I mean, it was shock I was still there 3 months later. It's like, what am I doing here? I this was gonna be just a short term gig for me.

Cheryl ILov

20:31

But 1 of the guys badgered me into testing for my yellow belt. And just to shut him up, I said, okay, I'll test. And then 3 months later, same guy said, I think you need to test for your next level. And I'm like, I think you need to mind your own business. But I tested.

Cheryl ILov

20:49

Then when it came time for 3 months later, I thought, you know what? I think I can go for the next level. It was nobody else's idea, but mine. And at that point, I'm starting to feel like, I think you know, I was definitely feeling my power coming back. I was feeling my personality come back.

Cheryl ILov

21:06

I was feeling my snark. But I was feeling something that was really indescribable. There was something so deep inside of me. That was starting to bubble up which I know now is my warrior spirit. And I think I always had that kind of spirit.

Cheryl ILov

21:33

But it had been crushed over the years just with the things that happened to me in my life. And I'm sure all of your listeners can relate to that. Because we've all had experiences that just suck the life out of us or just beat us down, that we feel like we have nothing left. To fight with. And I'm here to let your listeners know that you still got it.

Cheryl ILov

21:42

It's in there. There's an incredible amount of strength power and spirit inside of each and every 1 of us just waiting to come out.

David McClam

22:13

Here at True Crime and Authors, I read a lot of books. Every author that you've heard me interview and everyone that you will hear me interview, I've either read 1 of their books I'm in the process of reading 1. So how do I keep up with all of the books that I read? Well, that is where the show's sponsor Cash creation 614 comes into play. Cash creations makes digital handmade planners and journals And for those who want something on paper, printables as well.

David McClam

22:48

She can make anything from my little pony to black paint after anything that you can creatively think of, Catchcreations 614 can get it done. With excellent customer service and excellent communication, the owner Kristen will make sure that your journal comes out right and perfect the first time. And for those who are listeners of this show, you will get a special 10 percent discount when you use the code True Crime 10. Catch creations. Best handmade, planners, journals, and printables in the business.

David McClam

23:10

Check it out now. But I would encourage anybody, especially females to get into martial arts. We don't have enough females in there. There are shows now like Cobra Kai, which I'm dating myself, but actually the continuation of the karate kid. When I was young, the the next karate kid with Hilaby Swank was the first time you ever really seen a female in a serious martial artist role.

David McClam

23:34

And if you watch Corporal Kai, we've got 3 or 4 of them in there that's doing extraordinarily well doing better than some of the men and researching that show, they all have had to take martial arts for real to do that. It is very healing and I'm glad it is something that you found and I'm proud that you broke with a glass ceiling. Because now that just proves all the women that they also can do that.

Cheryl ILov

23:56

You know it's really funny because Mark, of course he eventually came sensei to me, although I choked on the word a few times when I said it the first few times. But he always used to tell me, he says women are so good at this art. You would be so good. There's women have something that men just don't have. And I'm like, what, you know, besides the parts.

Cheryl ILov

24:21

And he said, you have your sensuality, and you actually can use that. And I thought, okay. This man is really nuts. Until as I was climbing the ranks and started to get higher and higher, the men were really playing off of my feminine energy. And they were teaching me how to use it even more than I already had my feminine wiles, you know, I was pretty good at that.

Cheryl ILov

24:40

But they helped me just capitalize on that and really use it in the dojo. So once I got to a certain level, I mean, they were really cheering me on They were lifting me up. They were helping me. They were teaching me. And I never really thought I'd get that black belt because it wasn't on the agenda.

Cheryl ILov

24:56

I was there for the journey. At this point, I was in it, and I was not gonna quit. But I still didn't have my eye on that belt until I was the level of brown belt. And I was working out with 1 of the black belts. It was a friend of mine, of course.

Cheryl ILov

25:13

And as we were practicing all of a sudden, he just stopped. And he looked at me and he says, Oh my god. You're the 1. And I said, the 1 what? And he said, you're the 1 that's gonna be Mark's first female black belt.

Cheryl ILov

25:25

And I said, no. That's not no. Never gonna happen. Not gonna happen. And he says, it is we've been waiting for years, wondering who it was gonna be.

Cheryl ILov

25:31

And I still didn't see it, but then it happened. And it made me feel pretty darn good.

David McClam

25:50

You guys are also very unsuspecting because just to pass you in the street, I would never think that you knew any type of martial arts. I mean, if you look at the women now that's in MMA, they're build, you know, they got big muscles. Very nice, pretty young lady. And, you know, that's how come a lot of men get beat up on the street.

Cheryl ILov

26:00

And I also have that wide eyed Oh, no. Please don't hurt me. I'm just a helpless, harmless, little middle aged woman.

David McClam

26:03

Next thing you know, you're on the ground eating dirt.

Cheryl ILov

26:13

Mhmm. Yeah. And it it's so funny because it worked over and over and over again with the guys in the dojo and I'm like, really, have you not met me yet? You know that this is my MO.

David McClam

26:26

So now you've conquered that. You've now ridden forever fit and flex Filling fabulous at 50 and beyond, what made you wanna write that book?

Cheryl ILov

26:35

That first 1? Yes. Well, I have to blame part of that on my youngest sister. She kept telling me, you should write a book. You should write a book.

Cheryl ILov

26:51

And I said, well, if you think it's such an good idea, why don't you write a book? And she says, no, no, no, you're a very good writer, and I'm like, how do you know that? And she says, why read your blog post blah blah blah. So she says, you need to write a book about our family. And, you know, our family history.

Cheryl ILov

27:18

And I thought, okay. So I started and I thought, you know, this is really silly. If I'm gonna put all this energy into writing a book, I really ought to do something that's gonna help my career. I decided I would write this book including all of the techniques that I use to help heal myself and all of the techniques that I use to help my clients because when I opened my physical therapy practice, I actually would tell my clients, I'm not here to fix you. I'm not here to heal you.

Cheryl ILov

27:36

I'm gonna give you the tools to heal heal yourself. And it worked really well. And a lot of the clients that I got either had already failed traditional PT. Or were like me that had been declared incurable by the medical profession, and I was their last resort. So it did work out very well.

Cheryl ILov

27:57

And I thought, you know, if I could put all of this together in a book, then I could reach more than just this Denver community. I can go, you know, all over the country and worldwide so people could learn some of the tools that I used and that they might be able to either use those same tools or at least it would encourage them to look for some alternative ways of healing. So that's why I did it.

David McClam

28:10

So the book from what I've read has gotten a lot of good reviews. I'm passing this book along to people like my wife and other people that suffer from pain. Did you expect it to take off the way that it did?

Cheryl ILov

28:20

No. I didn't really expect anything. III didn't know what to expect. Because, you know, you put a book out there and oh, it's like podcasting. You never know.

Cheryl ILov

28:31

Is anybody gonna listen? Is anybody gonna read it? So the feedback I got was really great, and it's still doing very well to this day. So I'm very happy about that.

David McClam

28:39

So the 1 thing I want to point out is that in your book you do talk about somatic movement. Can you tell us what somatic movement is and why it is important?

Cheryl ILov

29:11

Somatic movement is just the mind body connection that we hear about a lot nowadays, like pilates, yoga, It's really integrating all of the senses with your movement. So it's not just I'm gonna do these exercises. By the way, just so the audience knows, I am a physical therapist who hates exercise and thinks that chocolate is food because it is. But I love movement. And when you take the focus off of exercise and put it on moving.

Cheryl ILov

29:40

And how movement can be so therapeutic it could feel good. And the benefits of just moving and finding things that you really enjoy doing, A lot of people don't want to go to the gym 3 times a week or put on some running shoes and go running in the park. But maybe they wanna take a dance class. Explore yoga. Some of the other modalities that are out there that are healing movement modality There's so many.

Cheryl ILov

30:04

You know, felden Christ. I just heard of something called cognitive movement recently. So that's really where the focus is, not on exercise, but on movement. And even if it's just simply putting on some music and dancing in your kitchen as you're cleaning it or as you're cooking, that really adds up to help keep you fit and healthy for the rest of your life.

David McClam

30:11

Is there certain foods that we should stay away from that would help us with vitality as well as pain?

Cheryl ILov

30:31

Well, yeah. And everybody kinda we all know what to stay away from, but trying to do it is really difficult. You know, because we live in a a society, everything's so fast paced and we're so busy. It's a lot easier to stop by the drive through and get some burger and fries than it is to cook a meal. Right?

Cheryl ILov

30:51

But I have a book that I read. Oh my gosh. Probably over 20 years ago, and I still recommend it to people. Victure perfect weight loss. And it's written by a physician who specialized in weight management and it's a beautiful book you know, it's well written but it has the pictures is what really speaks to you and the readers.

Cheryl ILov

31:22

Bill he'll show you on 1 page. You can eat this food and has so many calories and fat in it, or you can eat this and you go to the next page and it's all this beautiful food, all of a large volume of it for the exact same amount. But that it's all fresh, it's all healthy, very little preparation. So it's all about educating yourself and like eating this, not that. And at first, it might seem, oh, no.

Cheryl ILov

31:35

I'm gonna have to, you know, deprive myself of things that I really enjoy eating. And that's not really true. That's that's the bad way. It's not the right way to go about thinking. It's like, well, let's just make a few changes here and there.

Cheryl ILov

31:51

And then all of a sudden, it changes the pathways in your brain. It changes your taste buds, it changes how you're looking at food, and then it make you make another small change. And then eventually, some of the food that really isn't good for us, doesn't even appeal to us anymore.

David McClam

32:05

Yeah. I always say everything in moderation. I'm a type 2 diabetic and have excellent doctors that worked at me on that because when I found out I was a diabetic almost 10 years ago. My first thought, oh my god everything's gotta go. I can't eat sugar, I can't do this.

David McClam

32:18

And I've finally, even though the doctor I had before, I don't think was, you know, somebody thought they were just iron fist. You gotta do this. You gotta do this. You're not doing this. Through the pandemic, I finally found a doctor that worked at me and said, you don't gotta cut all this out of moderation.

David McClam

32:38

Let me teach you how to do that. And I was big into soda And now you are you looking around all of the soda companies now is getting more into sugar free sodas because they're figuring out that there's a bunch of us that ain't supposed to drink it. And, you know, he just he's everything in moderation. You maybe you can drink a couple took a free shoulder, but not drink a case. Right?

David McClam

32:46

So I do believe that some of these bad foods, like the book that you're mentioning, which I'm gonna have to go check that out now. If you do it the correct way, you can certainly eat these things.

Cheryl ILov

32:47

Oh, absolutely.

David McClam

33:04

So now after all of this that you've been through, what would you tell the audience if they're suffering chronic pain, would you advise them to swear off medications and read a book like yours or how would you advise them to go being a physical therapist?

Cheryl ILov

33:28

Well, I wouldn't advise getting rid of the medications yet. You you don't wanna do any abrupt change. I did it and it worked for me, but I wouldn't recommend that. What I would really advise people to do is to do your homework. There are so many wonderful, like I said, healing modalities out there, alternative modalities to try that could really really help you key is moving.

Cheryl ILov

33:52

You cannot stop moving. It doesn't mean you need to be doing jumping jacks or deep squats. But just even very gentle movement gets the blood flowing, the lymphatic flow going, the interstitial fluid. In the body, everything, the mind going, and it actually not only is good for your body, it's good for your mental health and well-being as well. So just start moving.

Cheryl ILov

34:02

I would research, you know, you can get my book if you like. You can email me and say, hey. This is what I'm doing. Do you think this is okay? I can't really say if it is or isn't.

Cheryl ILov

34:33

If it feels right to you, then it's right. If it doesn't feel right, then you might wanna just chuck it and go on to something else. So keep an open mind about some of the alternative healing methods that we have out there like acupuncture, reiki, cranial sacral therapy, reflexology, found in Christ, cognitive movement. There's so much out there to explore. Only try 1 thing at a time, so don't try everything at once because then you don't know what's working or what isn't working.

Cheryl ILov

34:43

And just be patient with yourself and just understand that the body has an incredible capacity to heal itself as long as we give it the correct environment.

David McClam

35:08

So I'm definitely recommending this book, guys. So you'll be able to know how you can get a hold of this book at the end of the show But I do not want to talk about now you published your second book The Reluctic Ninja, How a Middle Age became a Warrior Queen this has earned you an award too. So now your sister told you to write 1 book. You didn't want to do that, wrote it, comes a good book. Now you write the second 1, getting awards.

David McClam

35:11

Tell us a little bit about your second book here.

Cheryl ILov

35:26

Okay. Well, not only did I win an award, but okay. So I just celebrated my 1 year anniversary of the book being released. And last week, it actually hit number 1 best seller on Amazon in 3 categories.

David McClam

35:27

Oh, wow.

Cheryl ILov

35:29

So that's pretty awesome.

David McClam

35:36

So is it like your memoir or just telling people how, you know, you got into martial arts and how it helped you?

Cheryl ILov

36:04

It's the whole story. It's everything. I take the readers on that roller coaster ride that I went on as I was going through the trauma, the PTSD, you know, just trying to deal with it on my own. Then meeting Mark, and then him trying to get me into martial art. So it goes that whole story of going through the training and finding my power.

Cheryl ILov

36:29

But, you know, it was not a trajectory like a a straight trajectory. You know, there are a lot of times that I got the rug pulled up from underneath me again, so it was not smooth sailing the whole time. But there are some incredibly funny stories in the book really funny stories. There are some heartbreaking stories. There are some stories about nothing but spirit and grit.

Cheryl ILov

36:44

And feminine power, and the men that helped me find it. So I have to give them credit and I do because I couldn't have done it without the many magnificent men in my life.

David McClam

36:54

On the topic of women empowerment, which is exactly what this is, what would you say to women out there that maybe want to get into martial arts, but they're intimidated by it?

Cheryl ILov

37:31

Well, I understand because it is really intimidating. But what I would suggest is that you start researching dojos in your area. Dojos, martial art schools, whatever, in your area. Make a list and then start calling them, look at their websites first, do your research, and pick out maybe 3 to 5 that really seem they might work for you or they seem attractive to you. And then physically go to the school talk to the owner and definitely watch at least 1 or 2 classes.

Cheryl ILov

37:51

Talk to some of the students, talk to the instructors, so you can get a feel for what the school is like. If it's, like, for our school, it's very welcoming. It's very fun. It's very low key. We train really hard, but it doesn't have that, you know, real militant type of style to it.

Cheryl ILov

38:12

When you're in the dojo, just kinda get a sense of what what it's like, and if it feels right for you. And if it doesn't, it's like, okay. Check that 1 off the list, and then keep on going until you find 1 that you think is going to be a good fit. If you're intimidated about being in a room full of nothing but men, I can understand that. See if they have women only classes.

Cheryl ILov

38:26

That might be the way to go. Or check and see if they offer self defense classes for women only And that would be a nice way of just, like, tip dipping your toe into the water without really going full body, cannonball in.

David McClam

38:33

In today's climate, do you think that it is more important than ever at this point that women do take some type of self defense course with themselves?

Cheryl ILov

38:44

Oh, absolutely. Not only women. I'm thinking, you know, men as well. Because I think men are a little lost right now. Like, where do they fit into society.

Cheryl ILov

39:01

There's way too much man bashing out there, and it really makes me crazy. I can't stand it. So I just think not only for self protection, It's more for self confidence. It's more for grounding. It's more for that feeling of inner peace.

Cheryl ILov

39:29

When you know, especially as a woman, my age and my size, that I could handle myself and my first option of course is to run away evade, not be in the way of an attack. But when I know I can take down somebody twice my size and half my age. I feel pretty good about myself. But of course, like you said earlier, the first reaction is not to fight. It's to protect yourself and keep yourself safe.

Cheryl ILov

39:56

And you can get so much of that through martial arts and not only that self protection and that confidence, it actually helps you work through other problems. Problems you might be having in your business, in your relationships, you know, finances, health. That training, I fall back on all time. It's like, wait a minute. Instead of just like barreling through it, let me see if I could use the energy of what's coming at me and turn it to my advantage.

David McClam

40:10

So now we we pretty much gave everybody the overview. I want you guys to go out and definitely check out both her books. Trying to get both of them here at the end of the show. But now where is Cheryl I love today? You look great.

David McClam

40:15

I'm assuming that you're still very pain free. Are you still training in martial arts? What is your life like now?

Cheryl ILov

40:41

Yes. I am still training. I am getting ready to test for my third degree level black belt that should be in another 2 or 3 months, depending the training's going pretty well, but you never know. I am pole dancing at least 2 or sometimes 3 times a week at a local pole studio. So I started that when I was 58 it was kind of like on a dare.

Cheryl ILov

41:00

Just oh, hey, take this class and see what happens and I fell in love with it. Not because of the traditional, you know, way people think of pole and pole dancing. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It is so hard. Again, it's another thing that is very empowering.

Cheryl ILov

41:23

When you can lift your entire body weight and invert it on a metal pole, without, you know, breaking your neck, that's pretty encouraging. That makes you feel pretty pretty pretty strong. Or even just climbing up a metal pole So I do that. I do teach a weekly class at the studio, but I don't teach poll. I teach somatic movement.

Cheryl ILov

41:39

Because it's very easy to get injured when you're doing something that extreme. I'm working on my next book, my next few books. You know, got a great podcast where I have fabulous guests like David.

David McClam

41:39

Thank

Cheryl ILov

41:46

you. And and, yeah, just kinda enjoying these golden years, I guess.

David McClam

42:00

So that was a perfect segue because this is exactly where I was going here at the closing. I do wanna talk to you about definitive project. What is the podcast all about? Why did you decide or what made you decide to do this fabulous podcast?

Cheryl ILov

42:30

Well, it is loosely based on my experience as a martial artist, which is where we got the name, the feminine ninja. The it's about overcoming obstacles. Personal empowerment, restoring human dignity, finding your voice, standing your ground, and alternative health and healing. So it kind of encompasses everything that I'm very passionate about passionate about and really believe in. And like I said, I have fantastic guests on the show that I've just learned so much from them and it's just met so many fantastic people like yourself.

Cheryl ILov

42:44

I never really decided to start a podcast. Okay? I did the same thing like the martial arts. I was the reluctant author and the reluctant podcaster. There's a woman in Denver who has a local talk show.

Cheryl ILov

42:59

And I really well, I would listen to her every now and again, and I really liked her. She was funny. She was sarcastic. She had a voice that was kinda like glass in a blender, but it worked for her. And 1 day she announced that she was starting this new platform.

Cheryl ILov

43:15

This new business, it was gonna be nothing but female podcasters. And, you know, sign up for the newsletter and you'll get more details. And I thought, oh, I'm gonna sign up for this newsletter because I love this woman. So I did and I got an automated email response. Hey.

Cheryl ILov

43:37

We're looking for the next best female podcaster. Why don't you enter our contest? And I thought, I don't know what a podcast is. I don't know why I would ever want 1. People have told me I should look into it, If I enter this contest, maybe I'll learn something about podcasting a few years down the road if I ever want to do it.

Cheryl ILov

43:57

So I thought, okay. And then I might meet this woman too because I thought she was great. So I entered the contest and 6 miserable weeks later with incredible stress that I had to learn all of this technology with very little coaching. They didn't give us any coaching. It's like, I just download this stuff and watch some YouTube videos.

Cheryl ILov

44:17

Of course, I didn't win the contest, but I was invited to join her platform anyway because I went all the way through it. So I was on her platform for about 9 months, and it was like, this is stupid. I can just do this on my own. So that's when I said, you know, hey, thanks. It was great, but I'm going out on my own, so that's what I did.

Cheryl ILov

44:23

And now I have recorded 200 and over 230. Episodes.

David McClam

44:56

It gets in the blood, doesn't it? I know On this show, I think I'm right when you come out somewhere between the 31 and 35 episode. I did have another podcast which is still active because there's no hiatus right now called David Crime. We've done over a hundred and 80 episodes there. And once you get into it and you learn this, because I think like I said to you in your show, I came from the YouTube era and YouTube is significantly easier to do than podcasting because it's okay, you just gotta learn how to splice some stuff out and edit it, but YouTube takes care of everything else.

David McClam

45:18

On our end, we're we're editing, and we're producing, and we're getting guests, and it's just 1 thing after the next. But once you get into it and you get a good show, you feel real good about it. Now your model over there is look like a woman, act like the lady, move like a ninja and think like a warrior Write that down for is what that means for everybody that's listening.

Cheryl ILov

45:47

Okay. Well, it was 1 of those moments of brilliance at 03:00 in the morning that I just woke up sweating and going, you know, what am I gonna do with my time? And that logo or that tagline came into my head. Because sometimes people think if you're a strong woman that you have to be, you know, like really tough or you have to be, you know, just rigid. Or you have to not embrace your femininity or, you know, your, you know, get rid of the makeup or get rid of the heels.

Cheryl ILov

46:13

And that's not true. Possible to look like a woman. But you don't wanna necessarily act like a buffoon or act like, you know, maybe too Cussing all the time and everything. Trust me, I think, Cussing is fine, but you can act like a lady which is a lot more attractive and appealing. And the move like a ninja, it really drives me crazy when I see the way some women and especially young girls makes me nuts.

Cheryl ILov

46:43

How they move and how they walk and how they stand. Because that in itself makes them vulnerable. Because predators are looking for easy targets. And when they see somebody who's really slumped over, who's looking down, who's looking at their phone, not paying attention to the environment, You know, it's like that looks like somebody who can't handle themselves. But when you enter the scene and you walk with that ninja energy, People sense it, people feel it, especially people who want to do you harm.

Cheryl ILov

47:11

So that's where the move like a ninja comes in. Thinking like a warrior, it's having that warrior mindset, and the spirit of a warrior, and I always like to tell you know, my when I'm on a a podcast that in case people are thinking about a warrior is about Agression, conflict, fighting, warfare. No. It's fur that's the furthest thing from the truth. The warrior spirit has a very loving and compassionate heart.

Cheryl ILov

47:27

We love peace and harmony. We love mankind. Well, you know, within reason. We just all we ever want to do is to take care of ourselves, our families, our community, our environment, We don't wanna fight. We want to walk away from a fight.

Cheryl ILov

47:49

We wanna be able to recognize something is coming and so we can take care of ourselves and protect ourselves or even deescalate a situation, but fighting is absolutely the last thing that we want to do. You know, we have very strong boundaries. And if people cross them, it's like, okay. Please don't do that again, please. Oh, you the second time now, really, I told you.

Cheryl ILov

47:58

No. We're not doing this. Don't don't don't go there. The third time it's like, but I'm bummed. I told you not to do that or I asked politely but you wouldn't listen.

David McClam

48:17

And I can see that too because I guess I I must have this look about me too, so it was only in the public place. 1 day, a woman said hi to me. And I guess I I shocked her because I said hi and I smiled back. And she said, can I can I tell you something? She goes, I didn't expect you to say hi back to me because you like you want to kill someone.

David McClam

48:30

And I'm like, oh, no. I said, I guess this is the look I have because I'm focused, and I guess my look is saying, you know, don't mess with me, move my way of even thinking about anything, this is not gonna be good for you. But she I'm like, no, I'm sorry. I said this is just my look. I guess I'm in public.

David McClam

48:45

I'm a very friendly person. So I I totally get that, you know, move and walk like a ninja because I'm like that all the time. My wife even said, you don't like that if I say anything that you're just gonna kill me. I'm like, that's not the meaning of it. But You have a lot of Fabba's episodes.

David McClam

48:58

I've listened to a whole bunch of them. They're all empowering uplifting. You're doing some great things with that show over there. In case anybody's looking to maybe wanna be a guest, tell us what kind of guest are you looking for over in the Fimminator project.

Cheryl ILov

49:23

Okay. I'm looking for people who have overcome, something either, you know, very difficult or tragic and maybe came through it how they came through it. I'm looking for guests who maybe have had experiences of healing from either injuries or chronic illness. I'm looking for people who just have great stories about personal empowerment.

David McClam

49:44

I was a guest on the show. My episodes come out later on this month. You guys be sure to check that out. I talk about my experiences with domestic abuse, on both ends from a parent and from a domestic partner. I started doing this this year because my goal is to empower and help other men come out with that.

David McClam

50:11

Those of us that are Hispanic and those of us that are African America we have this machismo. Nobody talks about it. And as a man, we suffer in pain with that because we never talk about it or let it out. So I'm hoping by being on shows like yourselves as well as a couple other shows that I've done. I just got a I was on another show and they wrote me and said that my episodes won the highest downloaded episodes that they have.

David McClam

50:14

So I'm just hoping helping to spread the word like you are.

Cheryl ILov

50:33

And you know, it was a fabulous conversation and a fabulous at episode. And I really think I'm so happy that you're doing what you're doing because I know how much I suffered and struggled. And I cannot imagine what it's like for a man. And, of course, nobody's gonna listen. I will, but no 1 else will.

David McClam

50:57

Well, you are definitely you were a sweet person. I wouldn't mess with you, you know, on your your latest book cover, you're standing there in the polls with your ninja sword, looking at you going, yeah, don't know if I would even attempt that because you know it look like we do what you're doing. So I do thank you for coming on the show today in closing, Cheryl, is there anything you would like to say to your fans and the readers out there?

Cheryl ILov

51:25

Oh, no. Just I wanna thank you, David, for having me the show. This has been great. I really appreciate it. And for the listeners there, my readers, listeners, followers, or just somebody who's just meeting me for the first time on this show, Just remember that there is an incredible amount of personal strength, inner strength, warrior spirit, And the ability and capability for you to heal and recover from anything, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, it doesn't matter.

Cheryl ILov

51:38

You can heal. Your body wants to heal. It wants to be in homeostasis. If you have any questions, if you just want somebody listen to you, hold your hand, send me an email. I'm always there to listen and to encourage you.

David McClam

51:51

Well again, Cheryl, thank you for coming the show. It has been in the lightning time with you Every time I see you, I'm happy because you're just full of smiles, anytime you wanna come back on the show, you have an open standing invitation to do so.

Cheryl ILov

51:55

Oh, thank you, David. I appreciate that. You might live to regret that invitation.

David McClam

52:24

Alright, everybody. That was the fabulous Cheryl I love. Please go and check out her podcast, the Fimminenja project. I will leave that link in the show description. Also, you can get her books forever fit and flexible, filling fabulous at 50 and beyond and the reluctant ninja, how a middle aged princess Camey Warrior Queen, both on Amazon and on Kindle Unlimited.

David McClam

52:50

If you are on Kindle unlimited and you out her books which you have absolutely no excuse to not read them. Please make sure that you are flipping the pages. She does not make any money unless you are turning pages. Everything you need to know about her email address as well as everything else will be in the show description as well as on my web site, it would be linked to her episode. So please go and give Cheryl some love.

David McClam

53:01

Alright, guys. I thank you for joining me today. I you have many options and true crime podcasts. I'm glad that I am 1 of them. Be safe and always remember.

David McClam

53:14

Always stay humble. An act of kindness and can make someone's day. A little love and compassion can go a long way, and this is the podcast where 2 passions becomes 1.

Your Imaging Guy

53:49

Thank you for listening to true crime and authors. Don't forget to read, comment, and subscribe Join us on social media on Facebook at true crime and authors. On Twitter at authors True on YouTube and TikTok at true crime and authors and email at true crime and authors at gmail dot com. Cover art and logo designed by dazzling underscore Ray from Fiver, Sound mixing and editing by David McClam, intro script by Sophie Wild from Fiver, and I'm the voice guy. Your imaging guy from Fiver.

Your Imaging Guy

53:49

See you next time on True Crime and Authors.