Extraordinary Person #12 Survival, Advocacy, and the Relentless Pursuit of Justice: A Conversation with Eileen Santos

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Life is already hard, but when it deals you cards that some people just don't come back from, how do you handle that? Cards like being in a domestic abusive relationship at such an early age as 17, or having to face the untimely murder of your aunt. How do you come back from that? Well, you go get a criminology degree.

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and you start your own platform to bring awareness. Join me as I talk with extraordinary person and podcaster, Eileen Santos, on this episode of True Crime and Authors. Welcome to True Crime and Authors podcast, where we bring two passions together, the show that gives new meaning to the old adage, truth.

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is stranger than fiction. Here's your host, David McClam. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to another episode of True Crime and Authors. Of course, I am your man, David McClam. If you guys haven't already, make sure you follow me on all of our social medias. One link to a link tree would get you every link you need to have pertaining to the show.

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Well, if you have been doing your math, I know that this is the end of the season, so I'm throwing this one on you, but it's a great one. It is our last extraordinary person of season one. Let me tell you who she is. Her goal is to inform and help people from all over the world how to survive and thrive after an abusive relationship, as which she was in one at the age of 17. She was touched by true crime,

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where her aunt was murdered by an unknown person. And her mission is to get her case solved, not just for herself, but also for her family who deserves to know why. She is the host of Murder, Blood, Encyclopaths podcast, and our extraordinary person, please welcome Eileen Santos. Eileen, welcome to the show. Thank you, David. Thank you for having me on. I really appreciate you.

02:18
I'm grateful for the opportunity you've given me. Honestly, thank you. Well, thank you for coming on. It is my honor and my pleasure to have you here. So before we jump into the nitty gritty, there is some interesting questions I'd like to ask you around podcasting, being that you are a fellow podcaster, you know what we go through. So can you tell us how and why you decided to get into podcasting? There was another one that I was listening to, True Crime of Junkie.

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And I love the way the girls express themselves. And I knew that I wanted to do something like that with my platform because I came from an abusive relationship. So I was like, you know what? Why don't I create my own platform where I can speak about what it was like when I was 17 years old and I was in bondage. So that was the goal. And also, of course, my aunt was murdered.

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unfortunately by an unknown assailant back in 2007. And that affected me because when she was no longer here, I had no one to run to when I found myself in the abusive relationship. So it's like I lost her and then I was into this relationship maybe like a month into it and she was gone. So let's start with the abusive relationship that you were then you

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You know, ironically, as time goes on, a lot of females, especially, are finding themselves in abusive relationships earlier and earlier in life. How did you get into the relationship and how did you get out? First and foremost, the abusive relationship wasn't modeled in my home. It's not something that my mom was around or my family accepted anyone to abuse them.

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It wasn't something I grew up like I said, my parents didn't model this. They were married and this was my very first true relationship. I remember I was out of high school. I was about 17 going in, going on. And I got a job at McDonald's and I needed to pay for like graduation capping down and then my next thing was paying for books. So of course I needed a job, right?

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because my mom was not gonna take care of me. It was three of us and my mom was a single mom. So I remember I was 17 and I got my first job at McDonald's. It was the summer time. I had graduated. I was a senior, I was going into college to study criminal justice. And I met this young gentleman named Nathan in McDonald's. And...

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I remember I was into the type. I had a type. I was 17. And I felt like he was just really looking to me and he treated me so nice. And I remember we first met each other and we liked each other instantly. Then shortly after we started going on like a few days, there were red flags, there were signs. And one of them was that he started to, little by little, control my circle.

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he started telling me, I had this best friend in high school and he would tell me, oh, she's a hoe. Guilty by association, you don't wanna be around someone like that, that got pregnant out of high school and he started eating in my brain. And then I started to listen to him and then it was my mom and my sister. He's like, why do you accept that they are mean to you?

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and they're always like constantly teasing you and making fun of you. It's not love. And then he told me that I needed to step away from these relationships. He told me they weren't empowering. And he said that if I wanted my relationship to thrive with him, I couldn't have a friendship and I couldn't have like any kind of like relationship with anyone, honestly. So the isolation started. I really didn't know.

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And he was love bombing me really quickly on. He was like, I think around like maybe like a few days, he was like, I'm so in love with you. You're so beautiful. I wanna make you the mother of my child. I wanna marry you. And of course, at 17 years old, as a girl who's fighting insecurities, you think like, oh my God, like he wants to make me his wife.

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I'm gonna have a family because this is what I wanted. And he thrived on that. And I just felt like it was just like in a abyss. I was just going deep. And then I just became isolated. I wasn't eating. I have bruises on me that I couldn't explain to my mom. My mom had no idea I would wear baggy long clothes just to cover up any kind of questions that I had to answer.

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And I thought this was normal because again, I'm 17 years old. I think this is the love of my life. And I think, let me just lose my virginity to him because maybe this is the man for me. And this is what happened. So, um, I felt like he kind of like deceived me into losing like my virginity. And he would tell me things like, Oh, if you don't do this, you don't love me. And then he like started to say like, um, I'm going to leave you like you're not.

08:05
You're not the woman I thought you were. It was just so much mental eatery at my mind. And I was just lost. I didn't know who to tell because deep down inside, come on, I knew this was not normal. But I knew if I told my mom, I knew my mom would be like, oh, you're stupid. Why are you in this kind of relationship? And I know she wouldn't understand it. So then that started, and I should have seen the red flags.

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he lost his job at McDonald's. And he started working at a Quiznos, but the problem is the Quiznos was right up the block. And I thought like, maybe, oh, look, he works right close to me, like he can always come and pick me up. That's a form of control. That's a form of big brother watching you and for him to keep tabs on me. And I just remember that every time he would go pick me up at work, sometimes I would be bothered.

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And I would tell him like, can you stop showing up and picking me up because I needed to read a book for school and I took that time for me to go on the train to read and I couldn't do this with him because it was a constant mental abuse. And he's always like, oh, you have to cover up. Oh, stop looking at this person. And then he started with my coworkers. And I had this guy who was my manager and his name was Lou. And yeah.

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Lou liked me, I can confirm that he did. But one thing Lou never ever did was lie to me. He was like, this guy doesn't like you. Like, Lou tried to open up my eyes to the reality because he was seeing it. And he told me this isn't normal. And one day Nathan called the McDonald's shop. I was about to end the shifts at 11 and 8. And I told Nathan not to come, not to show up.

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And Nathan was very furious. He was cursing at me, but I was at work. So I just hung up. And I told Lou, cause Lou takes the same train that I did. And I told them what was going on. And I'm like, listen, I don't want this guy to pick me up. And I told him not to come pick me up. And he's angry. Next thing you know, Nathan is right across the street. So the thing that I did was I went downstairs and I changed and we went through another part.

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of the McDonald's where he didn't see me leave. And I would like to tell you that that right there, he literally, when he caught up to me when I got home, he gave me the first beat down and he punched me. And I remember that was the first time I was clutching my mouth. I was so in disbelief. I'm like, is this really going on? Like, is this normal? And I remember saying they're like frozen. I didn't know what to do. I didn't wanna tell my mom.

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And this happened like a few feet from my mom's door. And then this was the apology. He's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. You made me do it. I told you I was gonna pick you up and you left with Lou knowing that he likes you. And he started belittling me, calling me a hoe. And then he switched it up. And then he's like, you know, he used to call me Beva. And he's like, Beva, I'm sorry, it will never happen again. And he started apologizing.

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And I believed it. And that was the worst thing I could have done was believe it. Because I really thought it was my fault. And I thought it was a one-time thing for him, but it wasn't. I think the important things you're bringing up here, I don't know if you know anything about my story, but I too went through domestic abuse from my father and from my wife, an ex-wife. And my father, exactly the same thing. He was my mother's first love they met.

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when she was 20 and the isolation begins. And I've preached this before, and I'm glad you're here to back this up, is that isolation is always where the abuse begins because you have to be isolated so that the abuser has complete control. And then it always is passing the blame on to the victim. You made me do it. I would never done this if it wasn't for you. And then of course, followed by the long trail of apologies, you know, I'm sorry, I'll never do it again.

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All of the stuff you're saying, I swear, is like a carbon carburet, because my mom went through exactly the same thing to the point to where we were moved completely from where we were in Georgia out to, I believe, North Carolina, because he went into the service. And that's where he had his best days because there was nobody around that we knew. And so it became a fight for life at that point. So I totally understand exactly where you're coming from.

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with all the red flags that was going on and everything, how did you manage to be able to finally get away from all of that? Honestly, I had a son. I got pregnant. I thought the abuse was gonna stop with me getting pregnant and that is far from the truth. So I remember there was an incident. I didn't wanna comb my hair. And I remember he was like, you're going out like that. And he pulled my hair, pulled me on the floor.

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And he, this is when we knew the gender of our son. And he was happy that he was gonna have a son. And I remember being in fetal position, protecting myself, my son. And then I didn't hear him anymore. And it's because he went to the kitchen to grab a knife. He got two, not one, he got two knives. And he held it on me and he held it on my stomach. And he told me, it's you or him. And he told me that he will make sure that the baby.

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and kick the baby out of me and step on his arm just like that. And I just remember that like all of that abuse, I was six months, I went into labor. I had my son, I named my son Josiah and 16 days after my son was no longer, my son died. And that was my goal to leave the relationship. And I would like to tell you that it was easy. It wasn't because he stopped me.

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And the last thing I remember of this man is, he went to my house, he grabbed me and choked me. He told me that he had my son's death certificate and he cried on me. And I remember my life, I saw like everything flashing and I'm praying to God, I'm like, God, I can't, I can't, my life can't end like this. And I just remember like, God, please, like this can't be the end of me. And then all of a sudden my prayers were answered.

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His grip was not as tight. And I ran to the phone. I called my mom, who was just two blocks up. And I told my mom, hurry up, come, he's trying to kill me, he's trying to kill me. My mom rushed to the house. And when she opened the door, he left. He left. And don't get me wrong, I filed charges and everything. Well, like any domestic violence victim, we dropped them.

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And it's almost like a gang initiation, right? You either leave with, you either go to prison, you're going hospital or you're gonna be dead. And either of those two kinds of bitter leaves, I like. And I said, you know what, Aileen? You have to leave, you have to leave. And I remember I had to even work in Jersey because he was stalking me as I was working in New York City. And then it just stopped. Thank God it stopped, he found someone else.

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And that was like my one year, almost two year of hell with this man. So do you think now that he moved on to somebody else, do you think that he changed his ways or do you feel that he's still the same abusive person that he was when he was with you? You know what's funny? He wants him to try to contact me and he sends a picture and it was my birthday. And this was like already, I was like in my late 20s and he's like, Oh, look, look at the memories or something like that. And I remember saying like.

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This was not the best memories. You abused me and I was pregnant there. And I told him to fuck off. And you know, he told me, he told me that the woman he's with, he gave her two kids, a son and a daughter. And he named his son, Josiah. He told me that he never hit her because she never, she didn't deserve it. But I deserved it. How did that make you feel when, when you heard that from him? Honestly, that hurt.

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because it's like really me like I wouldn't hurt anyone. And like you pride that I wanted a relationship and I was vulnerable. You pride on my insecurity. And then it was like, I gave like, I gave you my virginity and everything. And it was like, what is me? Like that I deserve to get you because that's bullshit. How has this experience affected your

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relationships in the future now with other men. To be honest with you, every time I got into like a relationship, and if a man raised his voice at me, I looked at it as that was an abuse. And I left. And it was hard for me to develop a healthy relationship with men. And then it was only maybe now, like maybe two years, I committed myself to going into therapy and actually identifying what that's called.

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So it's called trauma bonding. I don't know if you've ever heard of that term. No, I haven't. Okay, so my therapist told me that the reason I was in this relationship is because of trauma bonding. And this was a definition, it is an unhealthy attachment to your abuser. And then it follows by positive reinforcement. So it's like, it's a hitting, and then it's like, oh my God, I'm sorry. It's like, I really try to justify him.

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And I believe them and it's crazy. But when he was nice, that's the person I fell in love with. I guess that's the way my trauma of work was just me saying, you know, what, when he's nice, he loves me and he gives me kids, but that's the deception. That's what they always use too. Cause my dad did the same thing. You know, we had to flee, flee to a shelter.

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And it was supposed to be a show so nobody could find us. And he ended up finding us and he gave that same story. I'm sorry. It never happened again. I was with my family back, come home. And of course, you know, my mom wanted to believe it and went back. And the one thing I'm trying to fight that I'll ask you, because I'm sure you've heard it too, is that I've constantly heard, well, you know, you, you had opportunity to get out or he had to go to work sometime, or you could have ran to the grocery store or told somebody. And I've always said, it is not that easy.

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when you are being abused and when you're in that, to be able to leave for many reasons. And a lot of those reasons is fear, because if it goes wrong, you don't know what's on the other end of that. What do you wanna say to people that say you could have gotten out if you wanted to and you chose to stay? I've heard it, but I was isolated. I didn't have anyone who I can come to. And yes, there was a lot of opportunities, but he had me threatened with my family, with my friends.

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And he was using drugs because his father told me, my son is bad for you. His family is not that way. He warned me. And that's when I knew that he was an abuser. He's like, you're not the first one. He did that with an ex-girlfriend. So yeah, like it's so easy for us to like judge if you're not in this relationship to be like, yeah, you could have got get up and leave. Not when the fear is your family, when you're trying to protect the people you love.

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I didn't care about me. I cared about the people I love and I put everyone else above me. So where are you at today? Now that this, uh, this relationship is over, you've survived it. You have a platform where you're trying to empower people and let people know how to get out of that. Where do you feel like you're at today with your current relationships? I know it's something that we will never ever get over, but how do you feel like you're thriving with everything now? Well, like I said, I'm in therapy and in my path of therapy.

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I found God and I felt like my spiritual gave me the tools I needed to forgive and to heal and to move on. I spent them once at school, went to John Jay, got my criminal criminology degree, graduated with a 3.9 and I was someone who I had to really like stop telling myself that I was stupid because that verbal abuse.

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Like up here, it had me for years in jail. And I was like, you know what? That's not who you are. And I started just surrounding myself with people who love me and people who encouraged me. So that's where I'm at with my healing. Like I'm thriving. I'm not attaching those relationships to me anymore. So I wanted to a step back because now, you know, you survive that was, I'm glad you have, you know, very strong young woman here.

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But now the other part of your journey is that you want to get out there the word and hopefully solve the unsolved murder of your aunt. So can you tell us a little bit about that? Do you know what happened with that case? Okay. So it was back in 2007. I remember the last conversation I had with my aunt. I was graduating and I was going out to eat with my other aunt.

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and it was raining, it was thunderstorming, and she was like, hey girls, come over. And we were like, yeah sure, we're gonna come over after we finish eating at the Cheesecake Factory. But the thing is it was pouring so hard that we just never ended up going. And I remember I woke up at three in the morning, something woke me up and it's raining. Something is telling me run to her house, something is going on.

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And I just couldn't tell you what it was. And then my mom, a few days later, we got the call now my aunt was found in the bathtub by her son. She was naked and she was raped. And I remember that it was a guy from a shelter because she was living in a shelter and then she had her apartment and she invited him and I never got the name.

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or at least I don't remember the name. And he raped her, strangled her, and left her naked body in the bathtub. Oh, wow. And her son had to see that. How old was her son at the time? Michael, I believe, was about like 12 or 13, I wanna say. And she left a small daughter, and she was such a good mom. And unfortunately, that is something he's never gonna be able to ever unsee. How is he doing with all of that, you know, years later now?

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with that trauma. Honestly, I know that the family they moved to Florida, and I know he's gone through his trials and tribulations and especially her daughter. Her daughter is older now. Thank God, like she went to college. I believe she works for an airline and she's been able to thrive. Well, all of her kids were affected. He was such a good mom. Like she gave those children so much love. And just the ending that she met, she was such an amazing person that that was just not.

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the ending that she deserves. Do you have any leads on who you think the person is? Has the police did a thorough investigation? Where does the case stand right now? Well, the case is inactive. It's not like a cold one because they have it on their shelf, but they don't have any suspects. But I think I kind of have an idea of who did it because there was also a case manager that helped her get her apartment. And he gave me the heebie-jeebies.

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because one time we went to Maryland to go recover her things because she used to live out there at a storage. And I remember he got intoxicated and I was in the elevator with this man and he tried to touch me inappropriately and my cousin, her son Michael was there. And I remember saying like, oh my God, this guy is not a good person. And investigators cleared him. They said it wasn't him, but I have reason to believe.

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that if it wasn't him, he hired that person from the shelter. Like, I just believe that there's just something with this man that I just can't let it go. So because of what his position was being a caseworker, do you think that the police did a thorough investigation or just cleared him because of his position? I believe they cleared him because of his position. And he had like a crush on her, but she was not inside. And she was like,

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in love with her and he got mad when she really wouldn't like, um, like she would like, like not really given to his advances and he got mad. So the motive there would be that because he wanted something with her on a sexual nature and she didn't that he just decided to take it and kill her. That's what I felt like because she was free and I'm like, how is it possible that investigators haven't gotten like a vaginal swap?

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gotten some kind of, you know, semen. And even if it is, then maybe this person doesn't have a criminal record, but now there's actually what genealogy so they can trace it back. Right. That's how the golden state killer was, was caught also BTK because the fact that they, uh, was able to go back and match DNA. And that was my next question to you, which is, did they do any of that? They take any swabs, they take any fingerprints, they take any evidence.

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Did they even attempt to run this against this social worker to, to, before they cleared him? I don't believe so. And the reason why is because she was living in poverty. She was unemployed. And I just feel like these cases, they don't care about. So we as family have to advocate for justice. And I'm glad you made it up because a lot of people, I speak on this quite often because that's part of my platform too, to advocate for justice for all people.

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But I'm not shy about pointing out obvious situations. And it has been said many times that the murders or disappearances of black and brown people go under the wayside, especially if that person is female and if that person is in poverty. Being that she was a brown woman, and the way that you feel at this situation, do you feel like that she felt into that category of just them not caring because

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She was brown and she was in a poverty state. A hundred percent, because when my mom, my sister and I, we marched down to the precinct, they interviewed us, but that was it. And my mom tried to go further. She even appealed to John Walsh and his people tried to appeal to the officers and they told them and they shut it down. So we couldn't go on the episode to see if maybe we could get her case out there. But it's never too late. And I feel like.

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This is why I have a platform because she deserves justice. Everyone deserves justice. So with the police shutting down everything, especially John Walsh, I mean, that's, that's a huge name. If you guys know who John Walsh is, uh, back in the middle eighties, late eighties, he lost his son, Adam Walsh, who was kidnapped in a grocery store. And they found him beheaded and he went on a tangent to solve or to help solve unsolved crimes.

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had a show for a very long time. If they shut him down, do you feel that the police knows who did it or has a good lead? Maybe, I hate to say it, maybe one of their own or somebody connected, and that's why they wanna cover this up so bad. I hope not, because then that goes deeper down the chain of command. And I hope that's not it. But for argument's sake, like I don't...

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I've never had like my thought be there. And that's a new theory. It's not surprising because it's been done before, you know? So I wouldn't be surprised if this goes up the, up the chain. So I'm always here to showcase the victims. What was your, your aunt's name? Her name was Milagros Bellini. The gene that's Italian, her last name. And with all the pushback and everything, do you feel like

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by you talking about it and maybe somebody open it, do you feel like this case would ever be solved and we'll ever find out who killed your aunt? I went to the precinct that had her case and I called the precinct. They treated me like the criminal. The officer that answered the phone was like, how do you know this and how do you know this? And these details, I'm like, dude, she's my aunt. Like it was in 2007, I was 17 years old.

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Like, how am I not going to remember details? Like, why do I have to be the perpetrator? So then the officer called me back and he's like, oh yeah, I see you are right. And he told me, like he asked me, what was my relation to her? And he gave me the cold case squad to reach out to them. Well, I hope that you do get it solved. I will do whatever I can on my end, you know, to keep this case alive and to make sure that.

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People look into it. I have seen, I just listened to a podcast a long ago where there was a guy named DJ, uh, I think his name was DJ Vicky who was murdered and his family knew he was murdered and the police covered it up. And he started this podcast. Now he would tell you that he had nothing to do with it. Uh, cause it's called the broken systems podcast. Uh, but I believe because of the podcast and his Twitter, that he was hounding the police every day about it, that they re looked into it. And now.

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they've actually put the guy in jail who's done it. So I believe that there is still hope. The more that we talk about it and the more that we bring it up and the more platforms that her case is on, I believe that that will actually make people want to look back into things because they see that a lot of people care about the case. Of course. And there's technology now. Like it's like, what, I don't know, what is it? Maybe they don't have the resources to retest certain DNA.

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And I don't care giving whatever money it is, retest the DNA and throw this man in jail. I feel like her kids deserve justice. And I know closure, you have to give it to yourself because we don't have the closure. But we will soon. Well, due to all of this, you know, you're, you're going through that domestic abusive relationship, your aunt's murder. You started your own platform. You have a fabulous podcast called Murder, Blood and Psychopaths.

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Why don't you tell my audience a little bit about your podcast? Okay. So my podcast first talks about my steps in the abusive relationship. I have a twin sister who also, um, wasn't in an abusive relationship. And because of this podcast, her and I, this was the first time we heard each other's stories and my twin sister also lost a baby, her husband left a baby in the bathroom and he was really abusive to her and I didn't know that.

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So I know you dedicate a number of episodes to domestic violence and things of that nature. Why don't you tell us one more time? Just we get the message across. What are you hoping to accomplish with your platform over a murder, blood and psychopaths? With my platform, what I'm trying to accomplish is helping people in bondages. There's still people that are still in abusive relationship. My platform is.

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If they ever want to come on my platform and speak on this relationship, it's here. This is why we're here. We're here to help. We're not here to judge each other. We're here to really bridge that gap and to be like, you know what? We need some appeal to our lawmakers, the people we vote for and pass better laws because we are in 2023, we're still having conversations, which is good.

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But I feel like we can do more and we can be advocates. Well, we are an advocate. We are advocates. Our platform is this advocacy. I totally agree 100%. What would you like to say in closing to all of the listeners and your possible fans that are listening to this today? It doesn't matter what relationship you're in. Abuse is abuse. And abuse is not only limited to physical. It can be emotional.

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financial and it's always to identify those and please tell someone, just please tell someone. Don't do what I did because I kept it and I hid it because of shame. Shame is one of those things that will really have you in your trauma. So my thing is like there's always a way guys and your life is valuable and it's never your fault. I never ever would ever say it's your fault. You don't deserve that.

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You deserve to have a healthy relationship. We all deserve that. Well, Eileen, I thank you for coming on the show today. It has been an enlightening time. You are an incredible woman. I'm glad you graced my stage. Anytime that you want to come back, please let me know. And maybe we should collaborate on the case sometime. I think I would like that. How do you feel about that? Oh my God, David, you run my mind. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful. God is good. I would love that.

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I would love that. All right, so we will definitely be in touch and we will definitely make that happen. So once again, thank you for coming on the show. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you, David.

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All right, guys, you heard her. That was the incredible Eileen Santos. You can check out her podcast, Murdered Blood and Psychopaths on Spotify right now. Go over there and take a listen. It is a fabulous podcast. I think she's about 45 or so episodes in, so lots to listen to and lots to keep your attention. I hope you heard just how strong a woman that she is. And now you've got another insight besides mine.

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on the way that domestic abuse happens. If you are in a domestically abusive relationship, please seek help to get out, please seek counseling, and I will give resources where you can do that in the show notes. All right, so I thank you guys for tuning in for my last extraordinary person, and boy, was it a good one. Looking forward to bringing you more of these going forward in season two. I wanna thank you guys for all hanging around with me this long.

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It has been a fabulous almost 11 and a half months. So with that be good to each other, be safe and always remember, always stay humble and act of kindness can make someone's day. A little love and compassion can go a long way. And this is the podcast. Two passions becomes one. I'll catch you guys in the next one. Thank you for listening to true crime and authors. Don't forget to rate.

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